Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says,
"I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive."
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a drink.
When it's served, he asks how much it will be.
"For you," the bartender answers, "no charge."
From Lori's humor page:
http://tinyurl.com/3x92yt
6 comments:
lauged so hard, my pocket protector fell out!
i know we've shared other wonkish humor, but i can't remember what it was. nothing to do with anything, but one of my teachers once showed us this "golden" oldie:
Ba AuH2O
i'll give you a minute to regain your breath....
;-)
KEvron
LOL!
Barry Goldwater!
Alrighty then....
A Muon, a lepton and a gluon walk into a bar and the lepton orders a round of drinks and some buffalo wings.
The bartender says to the lepton "cash now, or do you want to run a tab?" and the lepton says...ha ha....the hah ha ha... the lepton... says... hah ha hah hah...damn, I left my wallet in my other pants!
I just made that up! Am I brilliant?!
Helooo-ooo? Okay then...
An electron complains to a Uranium nucleus "I'm Bohred" and the nucleus says "Oh quit complaining and get a half-life".
Am I right? Yes? Is this thing on?
Okay then... so an Irish Catholic Priest, a Rabbi and a Quark are discussing their closest relationships and the Irish Catholic Priest says "my closest realationships are with Jesus and the Virgin Mary and the choirboys" and the Rabbi says "my closest relationships are with Yahweh and my Mercedes dealership" and the the Quark says "my closest relationaships are with Strangeness and Charm" and the Catholic Priest and the Rabbi say "oh! and that too!"
I'm making these up as I go along. Can you tell?
P.S.
I'm unimpressed with the smoking marshmallow peeps experiment--very poor science indeed: a clear case of scientists conducting experiments at taxpayer expense (by which I mean taxes on cigarettes) not to mention the lack of digital manipulation inherent in the marshmallow peeps physiognomy that prevents the use responsible use of an ashtray.
If you scientists really knew what you were doing you would all have solved the non-existent global-warming problem ages ago!
On the other hand.. I had no idea that marshmallow peeps existed or what they were, so thanks to you I am a more informed human being. Knowledge is power and irrelevant knowledge is more power!
It's a real shame you are going to hell for experimenting on god;s most perfect creation--they eyeball---but please take comfort that when asked at the Pearly Gates, I'll say that I know "of you".
Regards
Simon
Oh boy, I was expecting a little more jokes and a little more effort on putting good jokes...
Incredible what a funny jokes, I liked so much the first one because "I'm positive" incredible what a sense to make us happy and laughing.
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